God is in control

From time to time, I can see myself getting ahead of what God has planned. This is commonly referred to in an allegory (or an analogy) of the horse and carriage. "Don't let the carriage in front of the horse." How can the carriage get to where it's supposed to go if the horses do not pull it? I refer to this a lot with my Christian walk and frequently need to give myself a systems check, so to speak. God IS in control, even when we don't think He is. He is in control over the so called "bad" things in our lives as well. Who are we to say that because things "don't go our way" that it is not God's will? In our weakness we are made stronger. It is during these times that God reveals His perfect will for our lives. This has been the case for me these last several months. I have been having a difficult time dealing with pressures of work, school, family, ministry, friends and even sins.... All of these things pull for my attention and take my eyes off the real reason for our existence - to serve God and to do ALL things for His pleasure! He will reward us 100 times more than we could image He would by following what He has planned!

To illustrate this (and as a reminder to myself and hopefully a reference to others) there are three things to remember: God is bigger than all creation; God is bigger than any problem; and God is bigger than our will. First let me give credit where credit is due... much of this was outlined by Larry Grine, lead pastor at Dayspring Fellowship in Keizer, Oregon. But I thought this to be so simple, yet so important to share with others. I mainly want to express the importance of this through my own experiences. I feel like it is stronger testimony to share that with you than to quote Bible versus. However if you would like to look these up for yourselves here is the scripture:
God is bigger than all creation: Psalm 19, 33:9, 103:9; Jeremiah 32:17; Revelation 4:11
God is bigger than any problem: Daniel 6; Psalm 24:8; II Chronicles 32; Luke 18:27
God is bigger than our will: Daniel 3:6,12, 4:35; Psalm 115:3; Job 42:2; II Corinthians 12:11

The topic that hit home with me was the last of God's will is bigger than ours. We can try to live out our own petty desires and not seek where God wants us to be and struggle through life OR we can surrender our will and do what He wants and enjoy our life more than we could EVER imagine.

The story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in Daniel ch. 3 illustrates this well. For simplicity, let's refer to them as Rach, Shach and Benny (anyone every watch Veggie Tales?). They had made a decision to live their lives for their God no matter what the conciquences. They had been promoted to high positions by the king Nebuchadnezzar. Nebuchadnezzar was very powerful and wanted all of the people in the land to worship his idols and, specifically, to bow down to a giant statue. Rach, Shach and Benny would not, of course, so as a punishment Nebuchadnezzar threw them into a fiery furnace. They stated to him that they didn't need to defend their decision knowing that God's will would be done. "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

This struck me for the very first time in a different way. They didn't know that God would keep them from frying! They simply trusted Him to do what His will would be, whether that meant frying to a crisp in the fire or being delivered and protected from harm. They stated to the king, "the God we serve is able to save us from it [the furnace fire]." Note they say He is ABLE. This tells me they were not sure of the outcome, only God would do what was within His will. The story ends by Nebuchadnezzar seeing that they in fact didn't die but were protected from ANY harm to them. As they came out of the furnace Nebuchadnezzar promoted them to royal positions within his kingdom.

God is big, isn't He? Much bigger than you or I and much bigger than we can fathom in our puny little minds. There is no reasoning God, only believing. Just like you believe that when you fly in an airplane that you will get from point A to point B by flying through the air, so we should believe that the creator of this world can do ANYTHING and that we should be humble enough to admit that we can NEVER understand God and His creation but to only trust in Him and follow His will for our lives.

Here are some questions to ponder:
What does the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in Daniel 3 have to teach us about God's power, His will and our submission to him?

What is the difference between "there is nothing my God cannot do" and "there is nothing my God will not do"? Which do you believe? What danger lurks in the thinking behind this distinction?

How will you respond to this message? What new thing does God want you to know about Him and what will you do as a result?

Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'.... into the future....

Remember that song? If your under age 30 probably not. It wasn't ever a top song when I was a kid but I just remember it for some reason... And it resonates with me right now. It feels like time IS slipping away. Since my last entry, I have started classes to finish my Bachelor's degree and have found that time isn't as abundant as I once thought it was, even though it seemed sparse then too. There is always that one thing that I keep telling myself I am going to do when I "have the time for it." Yeah, right. If I don't make the time, it won't happen. School work has taken most of my time as of lately. And it ticks me off. I can see the purpose for what I am doing by going back to school, but this has been a hard stretch of a few months and I almost feel as if I want to throw in the towel.

Then I realize what I am doing this all for... It's not for me, because as far as I care I would just keep working along at my job and not give a damn about ever going for my Bachelor's or going back to school at all. I enjoy my job and I feel adequately qualified for it. But something deep down tells me I am doing this for a bigger purpose. I know that there is something bigger planned and that my education will have a factor in deciding this future. God is bigger than me (thankfully) and He knows my purpose. I am following His lead and taking advice from the best education advisor I could ever ask for.

Time. That is what I pray for almost daily. Of course without a ton of time (or even a gram of time) it's been hard to stay focused on God. That is my fault because I haven't made Him the priority as of lately. I have been so immersed in school that I have lost time with Him. I want to change this, so the reason I am writing this blog entry. I want to remember what I am feeling now so I can remind myself later to stay focused. I cannot do this (or anything for that matter) without God. He will guide me the whole way and will show me when to act, to speak, to move, to think, to lead, to follow, to listen and to be still. Being still is perhaps the most valuable of all of these now. I need to hear His voice and act when He whispers. Be still.

Planning ahead...

It is presumptuous to plan too much about the future. But what about strategic planning, retirement funds, career goals, and saving up for a long-planned vacation? Is that presuming upon the future?

Jesus calls the farmer a fool for planning to tear down his barn and build a bigger one to store his wealth (Luke 12:28). In another story Jesus seems to assume that a sensible person will plan ahead and count the cost before starting a building project (Luke 14:28). But then James scoffs at those who make travel or business plans. “Why you do not even know what will happen tomorrow” (James 4:14). Is it foolish to plan ahead or is it just good common sense?

For me the answer lies in how tightly I grip my fists around my plan, how firmly I grit my teeth to reach my goal. James goes on to say, “Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will we will live and do this or that’” (James 4:15). Jesus’ problem with the rich farmer who was going to build a bigger barn was not his planning, it was his self-centeredness. The problem comes when we care more about our plans than we do about God’s plans. The farmer with the barn plans was a short-timer and a fool. Jesus warns others with a similar bent. “This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God” (Luke 12:21).

Planning ahead is not a problem. But more important than our plans should be our desire to be “rich toward God.”

Sowing the Seeds of Love...

Sounds like a song I remember from Tears for Fears... hmm. Actually the title of this post refers to something a little (but not entirely) different. Parables. They were used extensively in the New Testament by Jesus to show his deciples what he meant by what he was saying. The parable I am referring to is from Matthew 13:3-8, that of the farmer and sowing of seeds:

"A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown."

This is by far the best parable that relates to our spiritual walk. In the first example it refers to seed falling on the path and birds eating it up. This is like the very weak spirited person that allows anything and everything to distract them from God. The examples gradually progresses from hard, rocky soil to good soil. This progression is that of our walk and how when we conciously attempt to weed (repenting or turning away from sin) and sow the soil (reading the bible and learning God's word) we will produce a crop that is multiplied beyond what we can imagine (winning souls for Christ).

Below is a letter I received from a friend who packed up everything and headed for a small country on the northern tip of South America called Suriname. God called him and his family to go there to teach in a Christian School. Here is what he wrote:

------------
"Hello Brothers in Christ,

To try and communicate some things to most of all the brothers I trust and care for will encompass some things that some of you can relate to, and others not so much. Forgive me thinking on-screen, I am just needing an outlet to a listening friend. Never before in my christian life has this sense of aloneness been so complete, though as a teenager, out tripping on the beaches and canyons of so.cal I found solace with my trusty guitar, and writing the ramblings of a lost boy in journals. I kept all of those musings and have them in a steel box in Seaside along with the student ID cards, hippie beads, drawings and headbands of another life. Here, however, is an entirely different place to write from, and to, and for reasons I am hoping to discover in the months to come, if at all.

I remember learning from my step-dad how to garden well. And if it wasn't well done, it would be done again, and again, and again.....until it was well done, good and faithful son. Even then, I understood the significance of turning the soil over, nursing the soil, building it up and preparing it well for the sowing. As a new believer in 1981 my soul began to learn the lessons of the Master Gardener from the parables. I committed the first year of my devotional life to reading, memorizing and getting into the story of the sower and the four soils. My early ferverent prayers were to be a disciple with deep roots, nourished, in good and hard times. Weed free, literally, and not out on the public road of acceptance, or choking and competing with the worlds enticements. Then I began growing food in my yards, and it has all come back to me.

My allegiance to my wife and children to protect and provide for them, has been my garden of sorts. I have prayed and fought for them to grow up as weed free as possible, cultivated in deep and meaningful soil, and spared the broad road that led to my own hard,dry,worn path. And when I was a youth pastor in Santa Cruz the garden included a bunch of other kids from the streets and broken homes of Soquel and Capitola. I remember feeling like the tired gardner who could't keep up with the weeds. When I prayed hard, and spent quality time, the weeds were at bay. When I got lazy, tired, or out of focus on the soil, up would come the weeds, thorns, and pain, that eventually broke my heart as a pastor.....then as a science teacher at Broadway Middle School, and now as a visiting worker in foreign lands.

Though the soil is of different colors, and the weeds are just as vigorous, gardening souls here is hard. The same crabgrass of sarcasm, clover of callousness, and weeds of the world (money, sex, pride, materialism etc...) infest this place too. I am torn as to my allegiance of where my skills will go. When I arrive at school, it is full-on garden-time of the soul until 2. Then theres soccer, youth group, and the school work until sleep. In my limited little world I still thought I'd just come and teach reading, writing, science etc...and play. But the Lord had a different job description than mine, duh...

So here I find myself, serving as a full-time youth pastor, missionary, and mentor to 100 international children. Every contact is rooted for the Lord. Every word, song, and grade, is looking to bear fruit for the gospel. And I'm still figuring out that this was not a vacation teaching experience. I'm on the front line, not the pool deck, of ministry. All my trusty tools and comforts are at home. I have nothing to rinse away the fatigue and dirt from a days service. I wake up with dirt under my skin, and the anticipation of pulling weeds and digging into lives all day, to plow up some fresh soil for Jesus. The weariness I felt in Santa Cruz has returned. The ligering dirt I lived with in Santa Monica gets stirred up everyday as I see and hear of these kids pains, and sufferrings. I can rejoice in the new soil coming up, and then glimpses of growth too. But at the end of the day, home and sweating until bed, the lonesome, and out-there feelings come to remind me that I am working , not for my agenda, but the Lords. And it is hard.

Thankfully I am taking little adventures here and there. Learning to windsurf, though the guys all desperately need Jesus and therefore I'm gardening again. I have come to value those bike rides on the beach, the afternoon paddle out til dark, the fire in the livingroom, and the voice of you, my brothers, and fellow gardners in Christ. There are no soul brothers here, mostly younger guys needing discipling, and some gardening tips...So, here I write, thinking of home fields, and the great tools there to really serve the Master. I wonder, are you guys gardening deeply with your unsaved friends? Are you pulling weeds for your families? Are you digging deeper into the good soil of the Lord in fellowship, worship, and study? You have all the comforts of home, that I dont, save one. Jesus.

Please pray for the school and the students here. The hindu, muslim, and rasta, all are corrupt with weeds and deciet. All need Him. My students are lonely, scared, and confused about the Love of God. And the student body is torn with whats cool, and whats not. Jesus is not. And my family is daily letting things go that they held onto for this venture. Surrendering what we wanted , for what He wants. This is hard, and your prayers and encouragement are needed and appreciated.

I hope and pray for you all that you are in the garden..."
--------

To say I have it hard, even with the "hardships" I have had through money issues and job issues, I cannot complain, but only be thankful...

Change

The time is here. I have decided I need to take some time away and focus solely on God. The question is when and where? That is in the hands of Him and I will know it is time when He decides. What I am talking about it praying and fasting. There is a desire deep within me to do this. I feel the ever-present tug to committ solely to praying and thinking about God and being still in His presence so I can hear what He wants me to do. Our lives are so full of stuff that I think we tend to forget in the busyness about God and our function and purpose here.

This last week I heard J.P. Moreland speak on the college campus where I work about the spiritual warfare going on inside of us and around us. It is so obvious to me that our existence here is plagued by an evil presence. I have heard and seen situations with numerous people just this summer about this evil and how they have relized its presence and dealt with it on a spiritual level. This sort of stuff gets really deep for the average Christian and most don't even realize it is happening until it is too late.

My church is one of these places. We have gone through a split in the last 2 years and have since hired a new pastor and have lost 5 pastors. It may seem this would be bad for the church but it has only been the opposite. As my mentor Mike Barrett put it, our roots are growing deep and winter is here. It is only a matter of time that spring will be here and the buds will begin to blossom and grow. Like the parable of the fig tree being pruned to produce more fruit, we are being pruned to be more fruitful. Our congregation of 2500 had been split down the middle and has since turned over almost completely save a few hundred dedicated servants. I believe that these servants are the core of the church and have been called to serve in a much, MUCH bigger way. Something incredible is happening here within our Christian community, from the church to the streets. Ministry will take on a new meaning and will no longer be associated with the stuffy church setting that kills us.

About a month ago, our Executive Pastor and Administrator, and his wife (who was also the women's ministry pastor) left the church. It was a shock to the congregation but a needed one. I believe the direction that he and his wife wanted to move was not within the will of God for our church. The reason I believe this is that a day later our lead pastor called one of our interim pastors that spoke several times over the past year to fill in before our lead pastor was hired. But a day before he was called he had typed an email ready to send asking if there were any positions available that he may be able to serve. He deleted the email as he didn't want to come across as being pushy or "haughty" about his Godly insight. He had also turned down a great pastoring position knowing there wasn't any current openings at our church, but that God moved him to do this and to take that faithful step.

The Spirit is moving. The Holy Spirit will pour out onto the Earth in the final days...

Committment

Lately I have been thinking about what it means to be fully committed to something that means a lot to me. There are several things in my life right now that fit into this category.

The first would easily be to my wife and my family. I am committed as a husband and father and intend to do all that it takes to be all I can be to them. My son is now over 3 years old and my new son is coming in October. How awesome having boys and a supporting wife is!

The second would probably be surfing. I am committed to going regularly with friends to surf. Just last night I took off from work right at 5 and went to the coast with 2 friends. We surfed from about 6:30 pm to 8:15 pm. It was incredible. The conditions were about 4 ft. swells, an incoming tide and very little wind. We surfed into the sunset and into the dark and were the only people out there! Fun little "bowly" waves that were challenging but worth the trip.

The third (ties into the second) would be ministry. I am not saying that surfing comes before ministry, but that surfing IS my ministry, so the reason it is listed second. Christian Surfers of Oregon has fueled my passion for reaching out to lost, wandering surfers of my hometown surf spots. Being a part of CSO is what God has called me to and I feel blessed and priviledged to be a part of it.

Over all of these committments is my committment to God. He has made all of this possible and I am totally committed to serving Him in any manner possible, whether it be with my family, surfing, or leading bible studies...

Which brings me to the point of this post. My first post on this blog was one of disappointment in myself. I felt as though I had let God down and was not serving how I should be. This time away from the bible studies I led with CSO has made me realize many things. God has shown me that it isn't about bible studies or even CSO, it is about Him. He does care for the ministry and has blessed it because of this and because of the loyal servants serving within it. But ministry is not about any one organization or any one group of people. Ultimately it is about reaching out to the lost, connecting with them through relationships and growing together in faith and life to be tools to reach even more.

There are several people in my life who have helped me realize this through God's leading. I look forward to learning more through them and the knowledge they have in God and Christ.

Commit yourself to something worth your precious time here on Earth. It is a short life that needs substance and not worldly things that will rot and rust away. The spiritual fullness that you can receive by committing your life to God and to Jesus is more than any high in life that you can receive.

Committed to God.

ME ME ME ME ME

ME. What a word. Overused yes. Guilty of using it WAY too often yes. Just something to ponder. Are you really going to complain about THAT today?! Think about it. We as Americans are SOOOO spoiled with what we have. Even the homeless, some by choice of circumstance, are much better off than the best of some other countries in our dark world. ME. Let's start thinking about YOU and THEM and HE and SHE. And then let's start doing something about it. Listen. Act. Learn. And Live it.

The wrapping on the box

It came to me today. Sitting with my boss having lunch. Are we really doing all we can? I realized I have been in a state of limbo lately, not sure why, but knowingly I had been in a stand still or a form of stagnation. I have been in a holding pattern.

It is not what I had expected after returning home from a week in Hawaii for the National Christian Surfers Leadership Conference. I was pumped! But something was wrong. Mentally I was ready to go, but spiritually there was healing that needed to be done. You see, Hawaii made me realize that I wasn't ready. Not ready for the position I thought I was ready for. It was made clear that if I am not knowing God myself and am not completely surrendering myself to His will, then I wasn't ready to be a leader for Him. I am a follower and a servant, yes. But a leader, no. In due time.

This last week I decided to stop leading bible studies in Salem for Christian Surfers. I need to devote time to God in prayer. I need to seek Him and make it a priority.

The death of a close co-worker has also opened my eyes to this. He was a prayer warrior and died praying on a mission trip in London. He was a model person, not only to the typical person, but he was beyond. He had an insight like no other. In a way, I believe he was given a higher discernment to know God's will and what he should say or do.

God has put situations in my path in these last few months that has shown me that I need to seek and follow and not lead, at least not for right now and possibly after I fast and pray about this. To lead others astray is death. And I feel that is what I was capable of doing. I feel as though I was the wrapping paper on the box or the present and it was all surface. It was all pretty and perfect on the outside, but a brown, plain, corregated, recycled paper box on the inside. That was empty.

Books, conversations, circumstances, surroundings... they were all pointing to this... and even writing this blog I am realizing how true this is.

Devote time to prayer... lots of time... I mean a lot. "Pray without ceasing." That means ALL the time. God will listen if you speak and ask Him to. And He will answer. In ways that would never be expected...